Supporting the Community

Leaving college only yesterday, I thought there must have been a terror alert fluorescent yellow issued, for there were literally hoards of police officers, so-called "community support officers" (trainee cops), traffic wardens and a sprinkling of local travel authority operatives, all attired in the aforementioned colour. But there was no security alert, bank robbery or militant coup.

Instead, these civil servants were carrying out the menial task of ensuring that all bus passengers had the correct tickets and that no-one was parking in the bus stop to access the conveniently placed ATM.

Now I'm not one for meddling in local policy, but I sure do like a good winge about it. In a society that is suffering from terrorism, frequent violent assaults, rape and convicted prisoners roaming the streets, whether or not someone has paid to extortionate minimum fair of £1.50 to travel home one evening should be at the bottom of their 'most wanted' list. No less than 11 of this conglomeration of 'police' were counted by my eyes, and others were probably on their tea break checking no-one had dropped some litter on the next street.

I'm not one for meddling in local policy, but I sure do like a good winge about it

Each time a bus arrived at the stop in front of me (I had to wait there for several minutes because the busiest and smallest bus, i.e. mine, did not arrive on time, again) three of four of these officials boarded along with the other passengers and proceeded along the length of the aisle to check tickets and make sure no-one had their feet on the seats.

Obviously the potential of the traffic wardens was to 'ward' off any driver careless enough to accidently leave their car on the double-yellow no-parking-at-any-time-otherwise-you'll-die lines, whilst extracting cash from the nearby ATM (always remember to get out an extra £30 to pay your imminent fine). Their cars can block the busses getting to the right stop, cauing them to halt on the main road and thus cause carnage and congestion further down the road right next to a motorway (freeway) junction. Stationery cars and a 110kph speed limit only metres away are not best friends.

"What are we doing at a school bus stop?"

However, despite this futile attempt to create clear passage for the busses, they decided to place a sign at the edge of the bus stop lay-by informing of the police authority's clamp down on obstructive drivers.

I didn't think much of this until I realised that they had opted to park their bright yellow police van (I crave for the subtle blue American versions) at the other end of the bus lay-by, thus reducing the capacity of the tarmac stretch. I turned round and saw that each of the officers was oozing irony and incompetence at the seams. Outrage flowed in equal measures from my every orifice.

I eventually boarded my cramped, smelly and generally nauseating ride home. The police and bus company's manifestation strategy to boost public awareness, morale whatever, and make it seem as though they're doing something with their millions failed to rub off on me. Alas, I was mugged during the arduous trek up the hill to my flat.